Not much of an introduction here. I'm tired and have been hit in the head by a three-year-old flailing around with a Princess Sophia figurine like it's a sock full of butter. So, instead I'm going to give you my nightly story ritual that I tell the Princess every night as she "lies" in bed ready for sleep.
Daddy: OK, what Princess story do you want tonight?
Princess: The one where she can't fall asleep!
Daddy: All right. One night after a long day of playing...
Princess: NO! The one where she goes to school!
Daddy: All right. One day the Princess woke up extra early...
Princess: NO! The one where she goes to school!
Daddy: This is the one where she goes to school.
Princess: Oh. OK.
Daddy: One day the Princess woke up extra early and got out of bed to brush her teeth and go potty...
Princess: I don't have to go potty.
Daddy: No one's saying you have to....
Princess: But I don't have to.
Daddy: I know.
Princess: Daddy. Tell. The. Story.
Daddy: One day the Princess woke up extra early and did all the stuff she was supposed to do in the morning. Then she woke up her Daddy...
Princess: Did she jump on him?
Daddy: Sure. She woke up her Daddy by jumping on him. "It's time for school!" she yelled.
Princess: <squeals with delight>
Daddy: Shhh...lie down and listen. You're supposed to be getting sleepy. Now, Daddy got up and looked at the clock and said, "Princess, it's only 6:39. We don't leave until 8:00." So the Princess waits...
Princess: Daddy. Is it today?
Daddy: Well, yes. Tonight, actually.
Princess: Is is tomorrow?
Daddy: No. In the morning it will be tomorrow. So the Princes waits and...
Princess: Is tomorrow going to be today?
Daddy: Wait? What? Sure. So the Princess waits and waits and waits until it's finally time for school. The her Daddy gets her in the car...
Princess: <starts babbling incoherently>
Daddy: Princess, are you listening or are we done?
Princess: Daddy, Joey takes toys.
Daddy: OK
Princess: What does Joey say?
Daddy: I don't know. Um, give me that toy.
Princess: No! You're supposed to say <yells> "Give me that toy!"
Daddy: OK, now lie down. Then Daddy gets her into the car.
Princess: No! Say, "Give me that toy!"
Daddy: Give me that toy.
Princess: YOU SAID IT!
Daddy: OK. Now lay down. Daddy gets her into the car and drives her to school. The end.
Princess: Epilogue!
Daddy: I'm glad we taught you that word. At school she plays with toys and learns some stuff and eats lunch. The end.
Princess: Epilogue 2!
Daddy: <sigh> Um, then she plays some more...
Princess: With Jenny?
Daddy: Yes, and Lindsay and Hiram, and Silas, and Hudsyn, and everyone, and they all had a great time until her Daddy picks her up and they go home. The End.
Princess: Epilogue 3!
Daddy: Then they get dinner and then go to sleep. The End.
Princess: Good night, Daddy. Go to bed.
Daddy: Good night, Princess. I love you.
Princess: I love you, too.
Daddy: <turns to leave>
Princess: Now, go get Mommy.
End scene.
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