Day 3 -- The Immigration Problems of Skulduggery Pleasant

About two years ago I found out by sheer happenstance that my library participated in an e-book lending consortium where I could check out books for about two weeks and read them on my iPad.  This discovery came at a fortuitous time, since the Princess napped in spurts during the day.  For at least one half hour at a time, I could pick up a story and delve into a dream world of magic until the whimpers of an awakening Princess began.  When she slipped off to slumber gain, I could then enter the literary portal exactly where I left off without fumbling around blindly for the exact page number.

 (Dude, I'm so waxing poetic right now!)

Also, I can check out juvenile fiction without having to explain to the ever watchful librarian that although I only have an infant, I am not "creepy" and at no time have I tried to entice youngsters to try some delicious candy in my 1986 Econoline Van.  The stories may not be a hard read (normally), but sometimes after a day of counting and tantrums, I just need to get my Percy Jackson on.  Don't you judge me -- unless you think it's awesome, then judge me all you want.

In my studies, I came across a delightful book series call Skulduggery Pleasant.  Skulduggery happens to be an undead skeleton detective that attempts to save the world from Cthulhu-like creatures with the help of his 12-year-old girl sidekick, Valkyrie Cain.  I usually don't attempt to read anything this down-to-Earth, but the writing is exciting and pithy, and the humor reminds me of a lighter version of Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy.  By far it's one of the best books series I've read in years, and I've read like six books in the last three.

So far I've read through book three of the eight published in the series.  But, that's when the United States got in my way yet again.  Not congress; however, I'm not ruling out a government-wide conspiracy.  It seems that Harper Collins doesn't believe that freedom-loving Americans deserve to see the resolution of the cliffhanger Skulduggery hangs from at the end of book three.  See, author Derek Landy happens to live and write in the country of Ireland, and his later books are not available in the "U.S. region."

I get why the physical books don't get printed.  Paper, art and marketing takes money, and if the first three books didn't sell very well, then its a wasted investment.  But, no e-book?  Does it take a huge investment to market a Kindle version?  You can get a U.K. version of all eight Skulduggery books, so why can't you get buy it on the American Amazon.com?

I'm pretty sure there shouldn't be much of a translation problem.  I'll even overlook the insane way the Irish spell colour and humour.  And calling a flashlight a torch shouldn't be much of a deal breaker.  Perhaps it's the money problem, with the U.K. using some sort of L-ish currency.  But I have a calculator and a currency exchange table, shouldn't the power of Amazon handle basic arithmetic?  Personally, I believe its because Ireland starts with the same letter as Iran and Skulduggery may have mistakenly failed some terrorist profiling.

Whatever the reason, I demand that Ireland relinquish the stranglehold it has on all skeleton detectives and the Faceless Ones.  Until that happens, I shall boycott both Guinness and soccer.  I'll also have to contract my local Congressman and write a strongly worded letter to the immigration department.  This injustice cannot last!  That is until the next Dresden Files book comes out.

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