Sunday, January 19, 2014

Day 2 -- Dream a Little Dream with Me

Every night I perform the same bed time ritual that I have done since I turned six.  First, I go potty so I don't wet the bed.  Then I change into some jammies.  Then I brush my teeth and say some positive affirmations into the mirror.  Tomorrow, I think, is only one sleep away, so here I go.

When most people lay down in their beddy-bed and drift off to Slumberland, they walk into an exciting world where they're pirates or superheros or world renown scientist supermodels that just hit a hanging slider over the right field wall, giving the Cubs their first World Series since 1908.    Some may even work out their anxieties like arriving naked and late to high school while being chased by a nasty Spanish test.  All exciting options for your subconscious to relieve stress while your eyes are closed.

I dream about online shopping on and spending $33.26 on a winter hat and gloves.

That's right, in order to escape the rigors of life, my subconscious gives me the excitement level of -11.  I could have unwound with some lawn mowing or data entry, but Brainy-McYay chose to pick an activity that is so adrenaline pumped that I don't even have to get out of bed to do it.  (Of course there are a few activities that you could do in bed that do work up a sweat, but the Queen does not allow dreams about that.)

I couldn't even go to the store to shop.  Now I know that I probably could find the best price on Amazon, being Prime members and all, but obviously price wasn't an issue.  I spent $33.26 on a hat and gloves.  That's an awfully lot of cabbage for something I can buy for less than $10 at Walmart.  Perhaps these were special hipster winter items that came at a premium, but I hope that my subconscious knows me better than that.

And just what was my subconscious trying to tell me?  I looked up the dream on -- THE source for dream interpretations -- and I found out that shopping means that I was looking to fulfill some sort of need or desire.  Hat and gloves mean a hidden aspect of yourself.  So all I can deduce from a expertly unsubstantiated source its that I have a desire to hide some aspect of myself.  Perhaps it's my fat ass.  Or my blood lust.  Probably the ass.  I have no desire to hide my blood lust.

Or perhaps the dream is merely telling me to turn up the damn heat.


30 Days of Shameless Self Promotion progress: 
  • 67 page views in 24 hours.  This will be the baseline that I measure all promotional activity.  At the end of the 30 days I expect 10,000 views per 24 hours.  And my own perfume line. 
  • 39 Facebook page likes and 26 Twitter followers.  Lighting up the social media circuit.
  • Today I registered on some blogging promotional sites: and  You should look them up and like me or something.  I have a widget for where I am the only one who follows my blog.  It's a lonely, lonely  widget.


  1. I know for a fact that Jack Jack does not wear jammies to bed. He sleeps commando style. Don't ask me how I know, I just do.