Saturday, January 18, 2014

30 Days of Shameless Self Promotion

If you haven't noticed, and looking at the post counts you haven't, I've been writing Losing the Internets for about seven months or so.  While I generally have a good time being your writing monkey, I also noticed that my notoriety has been somewhat limited.  Sometimes my phone freezes up from time to time, so I can't verify this fact 100%, but I'm fairly sure that no big time publisher has called asking for a 10 book deal (with cash advance). I haven't even heard from Hollywood, and they're making a movie about Stretch Armstrong.  Actually, I want to see that.

To remedy this injustice, I decided it's time for some shameless self promotion:  30 days of self promotion.  30 days of writing, publicizing and manipulation marketing.  By the end of the 30 Days of Me, my traffic should increase enough that I can quit my day job, move to a reclusive cabin in the woods, and perfect my manifesto.  The Manifesto of Awesomeness.  It's based off of Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure.

Do I have a plan?  No.  But I do have some rules:
  • New blog post everyday. Every day for the next 30 days I will write a blog post on Losing the Internets.  Will they all be good?  No.  Will they be well thought out?  No.  Will they use words that don't butcher the English language?  I guarantee not.
  • New promotion tactic everyday.  National Share-a-Losing-the-Internets-Post Day; internet memes; guest posts; Facebook promotionals; give-aways.  Perhaps a testimonial from Hall of Fame bowler Parker Bohn III!  That one probably overreaches, but we'll have a good time.
  • Running commentary on how we're doing.  When looking on the interwebs on how to promote your blog, all I find is one crappy infographic that lists every social network site available and not much else. (See link.)  I, on the other hand, will attempt to show scientifically the best ways to generate interest in your writing.  And when I say scientific, I don't mean the scientific method that you learned in seventh grade.  I mean that I will wear safety glasses, a lab coat, and rubber gloves -- and nothing else.
Join me on the adventure of lifetime as we embark on a discovery of something-or-other.  Whatever.  Just share the blog link and I hope you laugh, or cry, or scream.  Just don't do them all at the same time because people will stare, and that will reflect poorly on me.  And the goal is to get more readers, not concerned e-mails from somebody's parents.


It has come to my attention that the Stretch Armstrong movie has been cancelled.  My faith in Hollywood has been extinguished.

My editor also insists that I must wear pants while writing blog posts.  Luckily my jeggings have just been cleaned.  

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