I'm not a patient guy. I pace when the mail comes after its usual 2
pm delivery. Football replay reviews can raise my heart rate to
dangerous proportions. I may have even uttered a profane word or two
when Netflix has a momentary lag. God must have been rushed when He made
me, because I can't stand inactivity.
So
when there's a
decision that could impact the well being of my whole family, the wait
becomes magnified by 1,000,000,000x. Time seems to slow down
exponentially. At first, seconds seem like minutes, and then hours, and
then years. I check my phone about 32 times a day just to make sure
that a call wasn't missed because of a bad cell signal or broken ringer.
My pulse shoots up like I downed a pot of espresso after a "bing" of an
email, and then is plunged into depression when it turns out just to be
an offer for male enhancement drugs. (However, legitimate contract work
goes to my spam folder? Way to go Yahoo e-mail service?)
I also develop a
bad case of ADHD. I keep my hands busy, but nothing productive comes of
it. I'm finding that concentration is harder to obtain than the Arc of
the Covenant. At least Indiana Jones had Nazis in his way, and all I
have standing before me is uncertainty.
The
optimist in me knows that these feelings will subside. Either my
family will pack up our stuff and head on out to greener pastures, or
we'll circle the wagons and try again. My life won't end if this
opportunity doesn't come through. And there remain some significant
challenges if it does. I'm game to try and take on a new adventure, but
right now it's out of my hands.
So, I wait...
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