Thursday, August 8, 2013

Defiance Just Ain't a Town in Ohio

When I decided to start writing a blog, I received a lot of advice.  To be more exact, I received a lot of advice from one guy.  I can still remember the conversation like it was July 12th, because that's when it happened.
Guy: Hey, man, for your blog, you gotta, like, stick to one, narrow genre.  Like, don't make it all about a range of topics.
Me: (pretends to write stuff down) Okay.
Guy: And don't publish until you have your layout fully completed.  Nobody likes to see a work in progress

Me: (wonders if I left the stove top on) Okay.

Guy: And you should do give-aways, everyone loves free stuff.  It will really drive some traffic.

Me: Are my fries done?!

Guy: (Hands over fries as if it were a hostage negotiations)  You know those fries aren't good for you.  It's a one way trip to artillery cloggage-town.

Me: (gives death stare as slowly backs away from front counter)

Now, I'm not one to be overtly defiant.  Actually, I'm quite compliant.  (Hey, that rhymed.  Suck it, Dr. Seuss!)  But when people I don't know give me unsolicited advice, I tend to get rebellious. I'll run my blog the way I want to run my blog, Mr. Frymenhizer.  I'm not going to stick to any one niche, unless that niche is "Jack Grubb's Social Awkwardness."  I'm going to build the blog as I go--this week I added a Twitter button which you should totally press.  As for give-aways, I may move out of my house, and I have a lot of junk I don't want.  If you help me move, you can get some junk.

I feel great about my mini rebellion, especially since it seems to work.  My traffic rises with every post, and I even received a tweet out from some dude I don't even know (Thanks @Questingrat, you're awesome!).  In fact, this act of defiance influenced a whole rash a deviancy.  Here is just a small list of my insubordination:
  • Drove 57 in a 50 speed limit zone--Take that Johnny Law.
  • Drank milk the DAY it expired--Come and get me FDA cow inspector.
  • Filled in a bubble sheet with a No. 3 pencil--I flipped that SCANTRON's wig.
  • Logged off my online banking and didn't immediately close my browser window--I'm the online James Dean
  • Accepted a package from the postman without saying thank you--actually, I feel bad about that one.  Perhaps I'll write an apology note and leave in the mailbox.  Or bake some cookies.
The point is, when you say "zig" I say "zag".  Perhaps I'll write a post next Sunday, or perhaps I'll rob a bank.  You don't own me.  I don't even care what you say!


P.S. I'm sorry, I do care what you say.  I even changed the comment section so it should be easier for everyone to comment.  Please comment. I just want to be loved.

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